Raise the Blaze

THE VINE ON FIRE

BrandonJohnson — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 21:23:07 +0000

Have you ever witnessed a massive fire? How about an immense forest fire on the news? The force of a fire is hard to describe. When I lived in Southern California I witnessed the flames of the huge Laguna Beach fire as it mixed with the infamous Santa Ana winds.

The winds blew so hard that they created massive tornados of fire, PILLARS of fire rising over 100 feet in the air. The ancient scriptures describe God as an all-consuming fire. His visitations (also called theophanies) always revealed Him as massive disturbances in the atmosphere and observers often described these colossal shifts as fire.

From Moses hearing the voice of the GREAT I AM (Yahweh) coming from a burning bush that was not consumed, to the people following a pillar of fire in the desert, GOD SEEMS TO REVEAL HIMSELF AS FIRE! In one instance God’s presence rested as fire at the top of the mountain with thunder lightening and great billows of smoke. Then his presence fell on the tent of meeting, in the midst of the people, in the tabernacle, and finally on Solomans temple. But for 400 years between the testaments, Israel was without a prophet and the presence of God was non-existent. There were no mysterious massive disturbances of fire.

Then something happened. At Pentecost the fire fell once again!!! Acts 2 says that wind and fire filled the room, and tongues of fire rested on the disciple’s heads as each one spoke in tongues as though drunk. This FINAL FALLING FIRE has become the image or physical sign that God’s presence has now come upon all his people in these last days. It is no longer is external thing resting on some inanimate object but instead God has fulfilled his plan to drop his fire onto HIS PEOPLE who have received the finished work that Jesus completed on the cross.The completion of these realities is that God has called unto himself a people who are connected to Jesus and on fire with the presence of God. Like the golden lamp-stand in the midst of the Holy place in the tabernacle they burn with his presence and power and yet are NOT consumed.

This is the meaning of the tree/vine on fire above. We are these people! We are connected to the true vine Jesus, and are the BURNING ONES who burn with the oil of his life and the ignition fire of God’s presence. We are the Firestarters! And wherever we go we carry the presence of the most high starting new fires of His presence upon others Created in God’s image. This is why the Raise the Blaze website has a tree on fire. It is both a tree and a vine on fire. I believe that the Pentecost image of a people connect to Jesus (the true vine) and on fire with God’s presence is a repeat of God speaking from the burning bush/tree that was on fire in God’s visitation to Moses, and the fulfillment of that burning bush has been fulfilled in Pentecost when God poured out his spirit on all flesh!

Lawrence Martinez’s Bio

admin — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 00:52:49 +0000

Lawrence “L-Train” Martinez: Type Bio Here

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Thank you for the Thorns?

BrandonJohnson — Mon, 15 Aug 2011 19:43:08 +0000

The other day I was sitting in my back yard reading about the problem of suffering in the world. Most authors Christian and non, ancient or modern, see this one issue as the single greatest challenge to Christianity.

The question of logic goes, If God is all good, all powerful, all knowing, and all present, how can he allow humans to undergo such suffering within his world. The Christian authors came up with really good arguments about the existence of a real choice, a real Satan, and a fallen world.

As I was pondered what I had read, I got up from my patio chair to pull a few weeds in my backyard. My little girl Kassie helped me. I would pull the weeds and hand them to her. She would then take them over to the green waste bin and get up on her tippy toes to drop them in. She is quite the helper.

Then one time I reached down into the ivy to pull up some weeds and accidentally grabbed some dead berry bushes that contained some very nasty thorns. The thorns were so bad that I could not grab them anywhere without pricking my fingers.

Only two weeks after Easter, I thought of how these thorns were probably just like the cruel crown of thorns that the Roman soldiers pressed onto Jesus head. Then it struck me. These thorns grow naturally because of the curse of Genesis 3.

It says:

To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat of it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, ….

Basically, God tells them that because they disobeyed and ate the fruit the earth would be cursed. It will no longer effortlessly produce fruit, but in order to gain a crop humans must work the ground with toil, and by the sweat of our brows. Consequently, from that moment on, all fruit would be tainted by thorns.

When Jesus was on the earth he never tried to argue the logical dilemma of the curse and the goodness of God. The Jews have always maintained that YHWH is all loving and all powerful and yet he still allows the mystery of suffering to remain.

Instead of fine sounding arguments, Jesus silenced all need for quarrel by carrying the full brunt of the curse at his death. And the crown of thorns turned out to be more than a cruel mockery to Jesus title as King of the Jews. In divine irony, Jesus crown of thorns have become an everlasting symbol echoing back to the Genesis 3 curse. His crown cries out “this king has come to bare the curse of all creation on his bloody, sweaty brow.”

Jesus did not need to argue the logic of how God could be loving, and bring suffering. Instead in one amazing act of love he showed how the father allowed humans to receive the consequences of their choice, and then paid for that very choice by the sacrifice of his own sinless son.

What a glorious crown! A symbol on his head of the curse he paid for. How amazing are these thorns! Thank you Jesus for these thorns!

JJ WONG

admin — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 17:42:00 +0000

JJ WONG

Brandon’s Bio

admin — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 17:27:19 +0000

Brandon Johnson: Type Bio Here

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APEST is the New BINGO!

Sherol Chen — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 00:20:18 +0000

I am determined to get all caught up in blogging! My research, in other news, is going well. I’m more motivated to blog these days, b/c, well, you’ll have to wait for me to get to that blog. What’s to come? One on being hustled, one on GDC, one on Jubilee, and one on CGDC. This one is about APEST; which is like BINGO, but, instead of numbers, it’s people. I first learned about APEST when I joined a “house church.” As far as church goes, I’ve had the best experiences with this kind. They structure their leadership after the APEST model. This is AKA the Five Fold Ministry taken from Ephesians 4:

¹¹ So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, ¹² to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³ until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. ¹⁴ Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. ¹⁵Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. ¹⁶From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Apparently, this model, along with house churches, is responsible for the mass revival in Asia and Africa. Some trendy Christian writer has a book that I think is a big deal for seminaries, as Zwak had written about this book, The Forgotten Ways, a while back.

APOSTLES extend the gospel. As the “sent ones,” they ensure that the faith is transmitted from one context to another and from one generation to the next. They are always thinking about the future, bridging barriers, establishing the church in new contexts, developing leaders, networking trans-locally. Yes, if you focus solely on initiating new ideas and rapid expansion, you can leave people and organizations wounded. The shepherding and teaching functions are needed to ensure people are cared for rather than simply used. PROPHETS know God’s will. They are particularly attuned to God and his truth for today. They bring correction and challenge the dominant assumptions we inherit from the culture. They insist that the community obey what God has commanded. They question the status quo. Without the other types of leaders in place, prophets can become belligerent activists or, paradoxically, disengage from the imperfection of reality and become other-worldly. EVANGELISTS recruit. These infectious communicators of the gospel message recruit others to the cause. They call for a personal response to God’s redemption in Christ, and also draw believers to engage the wider mission, growing the church. Evangelists can be so focused on reaching those outside the church that maturing and strengthening those inside is neglected. SHEPHERDS nurture and protect. Caregivers of the community, they focus on the protection and spiritual maturity of God’s flock, cultivating a loving and spiritually mature network of relationships, making and developing disciples. Shepherds can value stability to the detriment of the mission. They may also foster an unhealthy dependence between the church and themselves. TEACHERS understand and explain. Communicators of God’s truth and wisdom, they help others remain biblically grounded to better discern God’s will, guiding others toward wisdom, helping the community remain faithful to Christ’s word, and constructing a transferable doctrine. Without the input of the other functions, teachers can fall into dogmatism or dry intellectualism. They may fail to see the personal or missional aspects of the church’s ministry.

I don’t remember what you win when you achieve BINGO, but if you find APEST, you now have an efficient team of world changers. My Athiest PhD friends agreed that this seems like a practical start-up model for businesses. I’m not going to retell the Winter Retreat, so you’ll need to read it here, but after the retreat, I realized that we had some primitive form of APEST happening. APOSTLE – He has proven to be apostolic by planning his own vigilante unity events. I criticized him for being nonchalant, but I believed him when he said that he moves without hesitation when God tells him to. He has favor with authority that I’m only beginning to fathom. While I try to plow over the previous establishments, he works through the constraints logically with subdued emotions. It seems like he does continue to construct feasible solutions to the problems at hand as I was writing about in the post on passion. For the retreat, I had the idea, but he’s the one with the bridges to gain the access. Frankly, I just don’t see him as any of the other roles… possibly Prophet. PROPHET - When I told my friend Daniel about this, he was like… “So YOU’RE the prophet?” As if I saved the best for myself. Obviously, he didn’t know about the 5-fold ministry. Apostle are apparently the bigger deal in terms of honor, but these the roles (in my opinion) are specific to a given movement. Also, we should all realize that prophecy is a gift than anyone can have to various extents. Just because you aren’t functioning as the prophet in a movement doesn’t mean you aren’t prophetic. I have, for example, been called a prophetic evangelist. Anyhow, the story of Winter Retreat speaks for itself. Seriously, just read that description of prophets and the glove fits– “belligerent activists or, paradoxically, disengage from the imperfection of reality and become other-worldly” indeed. I was told at IHOP that Apostles help set boundaries for Prophets. That was somewhat the case during this Winter Retreat.

And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. (Corinthians)

EVANGELIST – This one is currently in China. He’s so outreach minded, you wouldn’t believe, constantly connecting from one community to the next. During the altar call prayer, I had the opportunity to pray for him. His prayer was for the lost, for his friends, and for people to know more about God. Of all the people I’ve connected with, he’s caught the vision best of all. He’s one who could actually fill many of these roles, which, I’ve heard, means he’s a likely an Apostle as well. Apostles can often do a little of everything. They’re like the Red-Mages (haha, Final Fantasy joke). SHEPHERD – If you read the Winter Retreat post, you could probably guess who this is. He’s the one, in the midst of my running around, aware of the the status of quo of people. He knew that I needed encouraging, and he saw things that I didn’t. Many times, did he identify qualities in different people. It seemed so second nature for him to observe and form insightful conclusions about people and what was happening. He noticed I was frustrated before I even noticed I was frustrated, then immediately said the exact thing I needed to hear. Of the little that I do know about him, I can’t really see him functioning as anything other than Shepherd– he’s just so natural and good at it. TEACHER – This one was my ride. I hadn’t spoken to him in a while, but we’re pretty familiar with each other (despite having changed so much). He’d matured a great deal, as did I. While driving through the mountains to and from the Winter Retreat, he was explaining to me concepts of human interactions that he learned through improv acting. The illustrations were not only compelling but amazingly relevant. He’s just so good at explaining things. He makes you WANT to listen to him, even though he often unrelentingly stands his ground. In the past, I’d find him too myopic, and he’d find me not rigorous enough. Although, he did comment on how I’d really learned my Bible in the past couple years. I clash with this one like I clash with the Apostle– constructively, of course. I can see him serving other roles as well. Perhaps, Shepherd and Evangelist more than any of the others, but the context of our team, he is clearly the teacher. During the retreat, I told the Apostle that each of these guys would go into ministry. He said, “you say that about everyone.” I said, “no, just about these three people.” He responds, “well, good for them.” Man, reliving that conversation makes me laugh.. hahaha. Anyhow, I only named these people as those, I believed, were going into ministry for God eventually. I made sure each of these guys met the others, but it wasn’t until after the retreat that I realized I had achieved APEST! (The Shepherd and I are the only ones who’ve yet to get our PhD’s)

Winter Retreat: Hijacked

Sherol Chen — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 21:12:42 +0000

This is probably another one of those things that I shouldn’t joke about, as I tend to get pigeon holed as being anti-authority. Albeit, the retreat was indeed hijacked, but just not by me. What retreat am I talking about? Well, every weekend around Valentine’s Day, at least for my last 3 years in grad school do PhD, Masters students, and friends have a joint retreat in the Santa Cruz Mountains. This post will be about what happened that weekend this past February. I think, for once, I’ve acknowledged that I indeed hear God. Here are the related posts: 2010 Retreat, 2010 Retreat Topic, Convincing UCSF to Come to 2011 Retreat, In Preparation of 2011 Retreat So, you know. The last three years have been pretty much the same. The only difference being that small groups was by area study one year, seemingly random the next, and then by gender. Friday, people check in and we play this game that resembles the Chinese “big wind blows” (da feng chui). By evening, it’s obvious that we are indeed a nerdy group of people. The rest of the retreat includes quiet time, speaker sessions, Q&A, small group discussion, and free time/activities. Additionally, we’ve had these vigilante worship jam sessions, which I tried to formalize this year. What was new this year was, well, Henry and Chris from UCSF decided to join us. So, I was pushing for a “unity” meeting, but at that point, the leadership preferred me to be silent. I think a Stanford friend called the guy in charge “mild”- while I’d call it a bit passive aggressive. I remember having a talk about my frustration to the pastor that mentors me in regards to leadership. He said that if the present authority does not understand me, they won’t trust me. If I try to trump gaining their understanding (that is, do what I want without their permission), then I become an issue of stress, which often they’d like to placate, so that these issues don’t cause further disturbances. I told my friend that I’m going to print flyers for the “jam session,” b/c I want it to be official. My friend said that it isn’t necessary to print it, just get them to announce it. But I’d already decided that I’m not taken seriously enough, and that I don’t need their permission to have a vigilante prayer meeting. So that friend turns out to be a good buffer in the midst of such friction. Grant it, it was a friction that was so subtle that it was perhaps only subconsciously acknowledged by the leadership, and only formally, by me, right now.. haha. At the same time, I wanted an ally and he was (non-pejoratively) luke-warm, while I was more pejoratively radical. I’d say people like me as a person (as they would anyone else), perhaps, they also find me somewhat novel. As I’d mentioned in my post about passion, no one is at my level of determination to build up this PhD community. So, if there’s one thing I’m lacking, it’s probably a couple of the fruit of the spirit. Months later, I was told that people felt my ideas were unrealistic for such a group and gathering, but by now, I’d grown slightly less prideful than I was at the retreat.

"lol, I think that actually captures the essence pretty well of how our conversations usually go.."

So, my friend has this unique quality of being non-conforming, yet non-threatening and, in fact, well respected by others, especially the leaders. He’s peculiar, which is probably why he is at least opened to all my ideas, although not usually the least bit excited about them. He seems quite selective in what he chooses to support push, and at one point, he said to me, “maybe you should filter your own ideas, instead of making other people do it.”.. Ouch!.. haha. I see him as an ally, and an important one at that, but not collaborator… at least, not yet. However, at this retreat, I do believe that he helped me a great deal, but on his own terms in ways that I’m probably unaware of, since he had the trust and respect of the leaders and I didn’t. I suppose when he sees the reason to collaborate, he will be more open, and I’ll leave it up to God determine when that is. In the meantime, what I can learn from him is that the authority, even if they can’t see the obvious benefits of one thing or another are not the enemy, and it is only to my detriment that I keep trying to sneak around and not play by the rules. About a week before the retreat I send him this email:

Do you feel that? lol.. probably not… i should stop asking….haha… God said to me, “make sure everyone gets prayer who wants prayer.” this is for the retreat… i have an idea.. it involves worship and index cards… i’ll tell you on saturday… to me, it feels like God is about to do something amazing, and that this wont just be another retreat

I mean, God DID do something, but it wasn’t entirely what I’d expected. I think it’s still a sign of my immaturity that I need to see instant results of the final product. At one point, I remember God saying that it would take 5 years to see the things that I want to happen. My response?..”But I don’t wanna wait 5 years!!.. I want it to happen NOW!” Slowly, I’m growing out of this impatient urgency. They were already dealing with a good share of uncertainty and variables without my rogue ideas. You see, they’d invited a pastor from Malaysia that was in the Assemblies of God denomination. So, she’s pentecostal AND overseas, where Christianity looks totally different from the pretty presents under the Christmas tree version of Christianity we live for. Her name is Pastor Julie Khoo. The first night, she opened the retreat with a testimony on how she saw her grandmother raised from the dead after some encounter with God through prayer. I was like, “YES! this is awesome… This speaker is going grow the faith of so many people!” Haha, that may have happened, but not the way I hoped it would. The whole time the leaders were a bit concerned… In the end, they were just hoping that she’d tell stories about how we can minister to Muslims– oh, how practical that would be.

Rev. Julie Khoo is the Assistant Director of Youth Alive Malaysia. She has a strong passion and vision to keep winning souls and touching lives for Christ. She is currently the Youth and Young Adults Pastor of Glad Tidings AG in Petaling Jaya. Julie is a sought after anointed minister of God.

I was heavily involved in worship. Ethan from Stanford, Mark from Berkeley, and I got together to jam a week before and PRAYED for the most amazing worship possible. I remember visiting Stanford with my UCSC friend, Daniel, the week after the retreat, and being informed by the leader of group that it was the most amazing worship in the history of the retreat. Of course!!!… That’s what happens when we ask But of course, I wanted more. I was desperate for more. God had already brought together some amazing musicians, very opened and willing to serve. Almost effortlessly was I able to publicly pray during worship. It was such an amazing position to be in. I was so nervous. Me?.. I get to pray for what will be the most well educated Christians in the world. I was able to pray all three days on topics of:

Stewarding our influence
Building relationships with each other
Being hungry for more than advancing our areas of research
Truly seeking God
Dream the impossible

I remember Ethan saying, “don’t get all Pentecostal when you pray.” Haha, I don’t even know what that means. If I am Pentecostal, then I haven’t been one for very long. For me, I just don’t see how we don’t settle for quick answers of the difficult research questions in our field, but yet we settle for comfortable Christian lives without having to dig deep into our faith. Let’s also say that Christians who are also getting PhD’s are not comfortable with this idea of a supernatural, mostly, because we are not ok with things we can’t understand. While I was at IHOP in January, one girl said that her heart broke for Harvard, b/c they were elitist and prideful. I don’t believe that the educated are prideful. I think that if there was a root to the complacency, it would be from fear. (and actually, getting a PhD makes you the opposite of prideful, although, not necessarily humble either). You could imagine the discussions we had in our small groups after hearing about people coming back from the dead. It’s funny how this is all so new to them, but then again, I was in the same boat a year ago. What was less funny was the offense that some took to it. I can imagine that the leaders told Pastor Khoo to simmer down with the miracle talk, despite that these are all her personal experiences and she has no reason to deceive us. I wasn’t aware of how uncomfortable the Pastor was making people, especially those in authority over the retreat. I was merely uncomfortable with how it seemed like Pastor Khoo kept retracting her stories of the miraculous to placate the intellectual. Towards the end of the retreat, I started to see how most of these people aren’t ready to hear such stories of faith. Perhaps it’s because our faith is so lacking that to hear of something so unattainable would lead us to conclude that we were are not advanced in our walk or these experiences must be misrepresented. Again, not a matter of pride, but of fear. So at the Q&A session Saturday afternoon, I was ready to set up Julie Khoo with opportunities to break down the miraculous for the intellectuals. I had bible verses ready, after all, the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk, but of power. I continued to pry about casting out demons and whether we should be walking with great expectations of our prayers. Haha, I looked so sophomoric, b/c she just continued to give the safe answers. It’s all about love… Can we say “grey squirrel?” Later, I found out that people were concerned about her stories of grandma being raised from the dead and felt it slightly inappropriate, and she was merely submitting to the authority in toning it down. I had a discussion with Peter, who has a PhD in Philosophy and oversees the UCSC grad students, about miracles, where the conversation ended with him saying, “well, it’s just not biblical.” I was shocked, b/c I’d never seen him give such an emotional response before. Perhaps it was out of my lack of wisdom and understanding that I feel everyone should be given the entirety of what God may be doing in other parts of the world, and even in our own neighborhoods. Pastor Khoo was indeed walking “behind the Holy Spirit” while I kept trying to scurry ahead. Peter said that he felt most of these healing stories are false, although, I’m not convinced that he’s researched the matter. This is why. He said that in most cases, miracle stories are made up, but since he’s met Julie Khoo and determined her character to be genuine, that her stories must also be, not only, unique, but sincere. Conclusion?… Well, these people have never met anyone who’s experienced miracles. Think about it: this was all it took to make Peter believe one unique case where miracles were experienced. It’s not that crazy, I mean.. In my own field, I am the only Christian that most of my friends know. Obviously, God was doing something. Not only was God making these egg-heads very uncomfortable, he was fixing my impatient and immature heart. Very randomly, did God send three charismatic friends to this retreat– Jesse, (a different) Peter, and Lindsy. I’d met Jesse at the Joaquin Evans event recently, and I learned that she was part of the healing rooms in San Jose. Of all people, these three were game for some vigilante prayer. Prior to the prayer event scheduled for that Saturday night (according to my vigilante flyers), Julie Khoo had decided to do an altar call, where people come up for prayer. It appeared that she had to teach the leaders what this would look like as the staffers of each school stood at the front waiting to receive students. The main guy in charge made the announcement that they wanted to make sure that “everyone who wants prayer gets it.” This is nearly verbatim of what I was buzzing about the week before, enough to print flyers for it. Basically, this prayer sesh in many ways upstages my vigilante one. Which leads me to two conclusion:

they caught wind of my rogue desires and were in fact imitating the idea
they didn’t have a clue about my rogue desires and this is all coincidence, perhaps divine coincidence

Not only that, but they didn’t even announce the jam/prayer session. My friend was right: it was because they forgot, not because they are my enemies… haha, even though it felt oppressive at the time. So, during the “official” prayer session, people very much hesitated to walk towards the altar. Once they did, the prayer was going a bit slow, so I had the idea of becoming, yes, a vigilate prayer-er. I had the idea that after praying for someone, then they’d go and pray for other people. I think this method is O(log(N)).…[honk if you got the joke ]. Later, it was brought to my attention that what I did may have been disrespectful… “Oh, so that’s why they struggle to trust me– I keep being so unpredictable.” After all that began the vigilante meeting, the JAM SESSION! Ok, so everyone was so scattered that, while I pictured more organized proceedings, people trickled in and out. Urgh, they weren’t taking it as seriously as I was. Henry, from UCSF notices my frustration, and asks me whats wrong. I don’t know what’s wrong. I just felt so alone. Like I was waiting for Christmas morning, but it never came. Henry points out that everything I wanted to happen was happening. Things were going so well. As he worked the projector to help display the chords for all the musicians, I would bring friends to receive more personal (and perhaps even prophetic) prayer from Jesse, Peter, and Lindsy, and eventually others. It was quite beautiful, with strangers connecting musically in worship, while others shared their hearts and received the complete attention of their peers in prayer. At one point there were a few groups of people praying for others. I just kind of ushered people from one place to the next. Henry was right, this is what I wanted to see happen; although, not exactly the same as what I pictured, nor to the degree of catharsis. Kasa, from Stanford, suggested that I get prayer. I remember his prayer more than anyone else’s. Everyone was clearly encouraging and privy to how much I wanted to happen that night, but Kasa prayed for my peace, that I should learn to be like Mary and sit at the Lord’s feet. There was much wisdom in those words. At later events, I’ve described this feeling of motion sickness that I feel when God is moving. Spiritually, I can sense something big happening, while visually, the evidence doesn’t quite match. The prayer lasted a good amount of time. The jamming went even longer. We ended the evening with Jazz, but I’ll spare the youtube videos in this post (you’ll have to find those yourself ). Probably the most meaningful for me was the group that stayed up till 4 am talking. We had people from each school in deep discussion of what it means to be here. I shared many bible verses; Chris, from UCSF, wrote many of them down. In Romans 8 it says that creation is waiting to be rescued from decay by the adopted children of God. As researchers, I believe this to be especially meaningful. Henry helped me process the load I was carrying in my mind. This guy (in the photo below), well… you can see for yourself, haha. What I realized was that I wanted revival for, perhaps, mostly, the right reasons. However, there was a part of me that desired some sort of outpouring of God, so I wouldn’t feel so alone anymore. My only comrade, thus far, believes that I need to stop making other people filter through my ideas. Luckily, Henry and Chris were more sympathetic. So, slowly, people are beginning to join the party. This IS what I sought out to accomplish, but why wasn’t I satisfied? Well, I was able to talk to Julie Khoo and her friend throughout the conference and they both brought me to a greater understanding of what was going on. The final morning, I got to pray one more time during our last worship set. I centered on the verse:

Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a “fool” so that he may become wise

I prayed that we may be foolish in living for the impossible, because through God all things are possible. I must’ve prayed for humility and for revelation of how hungry we truly are. If we, with the most influence, who draw our strength from God, don’t contend for the darkest and most devastating problems and injustices of the world, the who will? I made the point that the same Holy Spirit that was in Jesus, the Apostle Paul, Pastor Khoo, and also the leader of the retreat was in and accessible to all of us. I made sure to give honor where it was due as a declaration of my submission to authority. After the last session, Julie Khoo sat down with me while I unpacked all that had happened that weekend. She called me an intercessor, said that she felt Holy Spirit behind my prayers (or at least the last one). She said that others don’t understand me, and that they won’t. I believed her when she said she knew what I’m experiencing. She said she saw Jesus carrying me through the hard times, which, if I wasn’t already in tears, I would be at that point. She said that I was prophetic, and, for once, I believed it. Too much had happened that weekend for me to have just come up with it all on my own. Maybe if things happened to the degree and detail of what I’d expected, I could say that my efforts engineered the outcome of my desires, but they didn’t. You see, once I accepted that I hear God did I realize that I wanted so badly for others to hear and believe with the same conviction as I, such that I didn’t have to carry this hope by myself. What actually happened was once people arrived at where God wanted them to be, I was already preparing for the next thing that needed to happen. God was making it clear that I am to not seek revival to alleviate my own loneliness, but that God alone is enough. I’ll gladly wait 5 years, as I already have everything I want Kimmy was right… I am emo. Haha, why am I so emotional? Anyhow, I’m gonna lighten up a bit and leave with three constructive observations:

The jam session encouraged people to bring instruments that the worship team didn’t have room to bring. People were like, “dang, we didn’t know that someone brought a keyboard!”
The jam session highlighted people’s musical talents, as I went home in the middle of the retreat to get my electric violin for Jensen. The violin that next morning was BEAUTIFUL! (a worthy $60)
I brought a box of Heidi books and DVD to give away. Yet, another tradition, but what I liked was the free book table: “you can take it if you promise to read it. Next year, it should be a book trading table

Ok, back to being emo again. To give a snapshot of my heart before this retreat, here is prayer that I typed up:

a prayer… Father, things are good, very good, yet i feel scared and a little anxious. Maybe I’m scared b/c I know that this weekend might be a great encounter with you, and I’m nervous to do things right in your presence. In my heart, I don’t want just another retreat. I can feel how close you are and I can’t take another weekend of just the-same-old things. I want more of you… If my anxiety is a result of my pride, then I pray to be humbled. Don’t let my pride turn into rebellion, don’t let me give the leaders reasons to judge me wrongly. But Lord, I present to you my utter willingness to do whatever it takes to see your complete will at this retreat… If it is your will, use my boldness, I give everything for you to use this weekend. Just let me know that you are near. You know it’s hard for me to take their judgements and accusations. Give me peace and understanding, help me forgive. Make me merciful. I think about how they’re going to think I’m a fool and that I just make them uncomfortable. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but I take all that shame and I put it before the cross… Give me the wisdom, Lord, that you said you give generously to all. I thank you, Lord, for relationships and favor. I know that people are starting to see the things that I’ve been feeling ever since you it spoke into my life. Lord, I need real friends… Give me friends so that I don’t feel like I’m doing this myself. Whatever *this* is, I pray that you put on the hearts of others. Finally, help me understand why I’m afraid. Even if I mess up, you still love me. I want to know your will and hear your voice so clearly that I won’t doubt myself like I do right now. Give me more faith and help my interactions with people this weekend. I lay down my life for you, my friends, and those people at the retreat. May you get all the glory, at whatever the cost it is to me. Even if it means that I’m to do nothing this weekend, as long as you receive the glory. Make this not about me, God…. Thank you, in Jesus name amen.

So the retreat was indeed hijacked, but not by me– by the Holy Spirit.

So, This is Passion

Sherol Chen — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 17:52:38 +0000

Must keep writing… The Summer is going well. If anything, I feel more powerful than ever. I’m learning to work in expectation that what should happen will happen, instead of spending energy making the things I prefer more likely to happen. I had a meeting with the boss, well, everyday, but a few days ago, I had a great meeting with the other boss (maybe the joke was too subtle, haha). When I say powerful, I mean that my time is important and I’m able to use it effectively. Any case, this post will take us back to this Winter when I got so mad that I cried, haha. After it all, I concluded, “so, this must be passion.” Now, I don’t cry that much, so when I do, I know I must really be frustrated or my heart is being impacted tremendously. This may be a little of both. So, let us revisit the Freedom Summit in San Jose.

What bugged me to the point of tears, pacing back and forth talking out loud to sort out my frustration, and then writing down the reasons why I was mad, while still at the conference, was that almost everyone there knew God. Now, I can imagine the indifference from my atheist labmates, b/c there isn’t a feasible solution to these problems, so they focus on the more solvable ones. So, at least all the people here dared to attempt the impossible, right? What it would take to solve these problems would be a miracle. So, this is basically a conference where Christians come together to talk about causes that could matter to everyone, so they leave out God, such that they can perform the miraculous for God.

At Freedom Summit, people were brought together to bring awareness of endeavors and needs of ending human trafficking. Even though it wasn’t a Christian conference, it felt like one. The friends who I ran into there were all Christians, but since the draw was not for Jesus directly, they had Jesus in the back seat as we worked hard to solve God’s problems for God. I concluded in my initial post:

If we could just figure out how to be friends who love God more than anything, the unimaginable would be possible. If God can heal cancer through a 10 year old boy, imagine what miracles would be possible from a whole body of people willing to live in faith and contend for the worst problems in the world. As Joaquin says, it’s as simple as “acknowledging His presence.” God doesn’t want us to solve His “problems,” He wants us to know Him more than we could possibly fathom. I choose “Miracles with God.”

So, this is what happened. I’m basically kicking it at the conference with the grad students of Stanford. People getting PhDs in Engineering, Physics, Anthropology, etc. These are not only my colleagues, they are my friends, brothers, and sisters. I mean, it’s so great that this event is bringing awareness, so I’m not trying to knock that. I just had this need to bring Jesus to the forefront of our pursuits. As the grad students brainstormed about how to apply what they are learning, I’m thinking, “we can’t leave God out of the planning process!” Anyhow, I wasn’t really part of their plans b/c I don’t go to their school… so, I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t feeling it b/c I had my own implicit agenda, and I’m being too myopic. Let me make it clear that I don’t think they were doing anything wrong!… I think it is awesome that they are there and thinking about the big picture. At this session, “Tending the Journey of the Social Justice Worker.” I was with a friend… someone who seemed like a bit of a vigilante himself; although, I seem more excited to know him than he to know me. Whatever, 10 years from now, I’m hoping such amazing stuff will go down, he couldn’t imagine what life would be like without a friend like me. I’m just early to the party. So, anyhow, I’m currently looking at what I scribbled down that day on my notepad, after the session, b/c to be honest… I was mad. I was so mad, that even in the moment, I was laughing at myself. Now, I wasn’t justifiably mad at anyone… maybe God, but just mad that I’m in this strange position. Let me explain… I was mad that my friend liked the session, b/c I really didn’t. I was mad that he was talking to this other person about their blog for social justice and how interested he was in those ideas and in collaborating. “I have a blog too! What about my ideas? How come this person gets included in your brainstorm but not me? Plus, you’re moving away, and if you want to collaborate long distance, let’s unify PhD students. Why am I the only person who thinks this is a good idea?” So for sure, I was frustrated at the conference, and if I was mad at anyone it was my friend, but only for an irrational moment. Should I mention again that I love and respect these people a lot?…. haha This is the rest of what I wrote:

FRUSTRATED that no one else gets it
Imagine what people like Heidi Baker can accomplish in 30 minutes of what missionaries spend 30 years trying to do
What could God do, if we just let Him do it?
With the influence we have we could easily do so much; Imagine how much God can do through us…
Burning heart… Well, it’s good to know that I’m so passionate and I feel so deeply
What if we truly wanted God more than anything?

What would the winter retreat look like, if we really did want nothing but God? We probably wouldn’t have the worship crickets of discomfort. I’ll end with this story. My friend said that I should invite his cousin to some video game event. It was close, but the cousin didn’t come. It’s funny, b/c my friend said that if his cousin said he’d come, then he would… that is if he actually said he’d come. It’s just not that simple though, people never know what they want, much less say what they want. It’s so delicate sometimes, so fickle. As someone had agreed to come with us to another event, after Freedom Summit, my friend started making jokes about seeing miracles. People eventually backed out of going. “It’s not FUNNY!!” These people might get blessed. I do, as another friend once said, seem so “Martha” in trying to get someone to go to something. It’s just that I believe that we’d experience the unimaginable if we could all just “SWIM DOWN!” as little Nemo put it. It’s my desire to see everyone on the same page. I was like, “why am I crying?” Grant it, no one saw me crying, but I almost tried to lecture my friend about how obvious all this is. I mean, no one feels as strongly about this as I do.. for now. And so, I concluded that… this must be what passion feels like

Overcoming False Humility

watersword7 — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 22:38:42 +0000

With God, ALL things are possible

WHO I AM. I am great. My name is Lawrence and I do great things because I am…well, to be honest I must say it again, I am great. Those words may sound like a bit much, but it is the unadulterated, hardcore truth. There is only one reason why that is true. Jesus made me great.

ONE EVENT, ONE EXAMPLE

My best friends and I helped to put on an event called the Global Day of Prayer. There were a good number of us who devoted many hours to the quality of that event, by way of organizing, choreographing, practicing, writing, conducting choirs, etc. The event brought many churches together, in a public forum, for all of our city of Santa Cruz to see. My awesome friend asked me to write a rap for the event and I was STOKED. I was thinking to myself, “Self, what a great opportunity to spread Jesus’ love, rock the mic and have fun doing it.” I committed to it and proceeded to invest much more time and energy than I bargained for. It was worth every bit. My rad friends took it upon themselves to choreograph a dance to the lyrics I wrote. I was honored like I never have been, when it came to lyrical appreciation. I mean, I’ve never had other people have every move of their dance fit to what I was saying. This was a high honor. I memorized the lyrics backward and forward, the dancers had their moves down pat, the choir and solo singers hit their notes and when the day came…we all rocked it.

THE VOCAL DELIVERY, AKA…THE FLOW

Now, syllable for syllable, I had to quickly adjust as the flow came out of my mouth. Staying totally focused under a variety of stressors is not for the faint of heart and the Holy Spirit provided ways for me to stay on point. Was it, technically, 100% perfect? Nope. Were people there ministered to by the Holy Spirit? Yup. So, does is matter that it wasn’t 100% technically perfect? NOPE. Yet, I have to admit that I was being pretty hard on myself. You see, the enemy comes to rob us of our joy. People came up to me, looked me in the eyes and shared how powerfully the Lord touched them through the words I said. There were a number of people who came up to me and said things like, “Great rap!” and “That was awesome!” To which I said, “It was all the Lord.” Dude. That was THE WRONG thing to say and always will be in times like that. I WAS awesome and I DID bust a great rap but since it wasn’t technically perfect syllable for syllable, (which by they way, is HARD to do when flowing, as we are not robots) I was beating myself up and by doing so, was taking away from the true glory due to the Lord!

WHAT MAKES US GREAT

Jesus gave me (and the rest of humanity when he physically left this planet) the Holy Spirit and this allowed me to rock the mic. For me to say it was all the Lord when being told how good my part was is straight up false humility. God has the highest calling for us. He made us for greatness. He didn’t call us to do the possible, that’s all very easy. With Him, anything is possible and there are no boundaries. He created us to do the IMPOSSIBLE. This simple statement is one RAD truth and was passed on by Graham Cooke in “The Nature of God”. The great apostle Paul wrote to the people in the church of Phillipi, (people who were ONCE everyday people). Those who put their lives in Jesus were commissioned by Paul when he said, “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Paul encouraged them all to do the same. We can do great things when we aim to do so. There is this really cool bible called The Message, given to me by a professor who thought I’d like it and it lays out Scripture in ways that STOKED me out to read the Word. It was a far cry from the thee and the thous that many associate with the Bible. Don’t get me wrong, there are a number of solid and sound Bibles out there, and I study from a couple of them (NKJV, NCV). Yet, I absolutely dig The Message because it uses everyday language. So here is how Eugene Peterson, author of The Message, intreprets Phillipians 3:14–”Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward–to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.” Kris Valleton, a mighty man of God (and I reckon he’d be the first one to tell you that he didn’t always view himself as such) and author of “The Supernatural Ways of Royalty”, has a number of golden nuggets on this. Here is one–”Jesus has commissioned us to co-labor with Him. He called us to reign with Him.” (italics mine) The idea this world has pounded into the mindsets of both Christians and non-believers, whether acknowledged or not and how that once we give our all to Jesus we become voiceless, spineless and timid little nothings is a LIE. Nothing could be further from the truth. We who have entrusted all of ourselves to Jesus, because He loved us first, have invested in the ultimate bank account. This account gives us access to unlimited monies and when we have all we need, the enemy freaks out. When we KNOW we have all we need in Jesus and put on those shoes Jesus made for us and begin to walk around in that identity–we become DANGEROUS to the enemy. Here is a fact–when the enemy knows that we know, nothing can stop us from expanding His kingdom. NOTHING. That means we get to spread true agape love, the love of Jesus, everywhere we go and I would wager you all know what love does. It conquers all. It’s all we need. What the world needs now… Money can’t buy it… Love… and God IS love As Valleton points out, when we KNOW how great God is, when we are in genuine awe of how much He love us and when we pray for more of His provisions for our lives—-THAT is when we show true humility. ”The grace of God humbles a man without degrading him and exalts a man without inflating him!” False humility would have me NOT post this as my first blog. Being truly humble has me both admitting my shortcomings at the Global Day of Prayer AND standing tall against that same lie. Every single human being who has accepted Jesus has the same royal DNA. He made you to be great. He made you to be amazing. He made you to be so freaking impressive that you will leave His imprint wherever you go, should you choose so. If you haven’t already done this, all you have to do is step into the shoes laying at your feet. Stepping into those shoes means being yourself and trusting Jesus that you are going to be a huge shining star by way of using all of your strengths. It means doing whatever it is that you know you can do because you’re good at it. Do it with no fear of failing- all roads to success are laced with failures along the way. Oh, one more thing. Jesus made those shoes for you. MAY THIS, MY FIRST BLOG EVER, PROMPT YOU TO SHARE WHATEVER IT IS THAT WAS STIRRED UP, AWAKENED OR BROUGHT TO ATTENTION IN YOU. SO GO AHEAD AND WRITE ANYTHING YOU WANT ON THE SUBJECT OF FALSE HUMILITY. IF SOMETHING ELSE WAS BROUGHT TO MIND FOR YOU, MENTION IT AND LET’S START ANOTHER BLOG ON THAT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR READING MY FIRST BLOG. I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM ANY AND ALL OF YOU. I WILL DO MY BEST TO SUPPORT ANY OF YA’LLS BLOGS. BUCKETS OF BLESSINGS UPON ALL OF YOU. JESUS LOVES YOU DEEPLY LAWRENCE Here are the words to the flow that I, Lawrence, proclaimed that day: LIGHT… BREAKTHROUGH…FREEDOM!!! TO THE DARKEST, DARKEST PLACES LIGHT, IT SPARKS AND LACES THOSE SOULS IN LONELY SPACES GRACE SHINES FORTH ON FACES BLOCKED FROM THE SUN THE ONE WHO NEEDS RAYS FEELS FRIGHT IN THE NIGHT DESPAIR IT DIMS DAYS IF THERE EVER WAS TIME TO FIND LOST MINDS, DIVINE REASON & RHYME HE COMES TO REDEEM, TAKE CHARGE AND MAKE CLEAN HIS HEART, HIS LOVE, RE-STARTS THE WHOLE SCENE WITH NO FEAR OF THE CRAGS, THAT SCAR AND ROT GROUND HE FLOWS TO THE LOW, HE GOES AND THROWS DOWN TO US HE ENTRUSTS, THE SAME POWER TO THRUST DOWN THE GATES OF HELL, DEVILS SMELLING OUR DUST ALL LOVE, NO HATE, ALL FREEDOM, NO BUST WE ARE ONE AND THE SAME & HIS NAME IS JESUS LIGHT……………BREAKTHROUGH……………….FREEDOM!!! HE CAME TO BRING US LIFE AND EMPLOY JOY WHERE NO MAN CAN FREEDOM FOR EVERY KIN & CLAN HIS LOVE TRANSCENDS ALL LIFESPANS HIS NAME RECLAIMS THE MAIMED, TAKING BACK HE COMES TO THE DARK, WHITE LIGHT TO THE BLACK WHO USED TO BE BLIND, THEY CAN NOW SEE CHANGED, REARRANGED THE CHAINED ARE NOW FREE AND IN FREEDOM WE FIND THE STRENGTH TO BE WE NOTHING IN THE WORLD CAN ALTER THAT, SEE? THE LIFE THAT WE HAVE, THE LORD GETS THE PRAISE WE DECLARE THE AIR WE BREATHE DIVINE RAYS & WITH EASE HE BRINGS THE ROCK DOWN FOR FREEING THOSE IN LOCKDOWN ANNIHILATES HATE CREATES WHAT IS GREAT, CAN’T WAIT TO SMASH THOSE BLOCKS DOWN WE’RE ALL PART OF THE BODY OF CHRIST AND UNLEASHED JESUS IS THE CENTER, WE ENTER WITH HIM– PEACE WE’RE UNITED, NOT DIVIDED WHEN SPIRIT IT FLOWS THRU & YOU OUGHTTA BE IGNITED, EXCITED HE CHOSE YOU WE USED TO BE DEAD, PARALYZED BY FEAR JESUS IN US, NO JUNK LIKE THAT HERE HAPPINESS ON SKIN, JOY WITHIN JESUS IN US, WE ARE ALIVE IN HIM.

The Worst of IHOP’s onething Conference in Kansas City 2010

Sherol Chen — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:44:18 +0000

“Tomorrow, nearly 25,000 young adults from more than fifty nations will gather in Kansas City to seek the heart of the Lord in worship, prayer, teaching, and ministry in the power of the Holy Spirit. Our cost to host this “free” event, our tenth annual onething conference, will be close to $700,000. And while we are passionate about continuing to host this conference at no charge to the attendees, it still costs nearly $30 for each person in attendance.” That was an email I got December, 27th 2010. The two points to make is that they had a venue that fit 25,000 people. This event costs $700,000, and they don’t charge anyone to come. Anyhow, I decided I had to see this event for myself. I wrote a post about my visit in October, and while in KC, I heard much about this event in December. Hey, what better than to celebrate my B-Day with 25,000 others! This trip was longer and with far more stories to tell, so bear with me. MY ARRIVAL Nina picked me up from the airport; in the car was a familiar face, AK. I met AK my first trip two months prior. Nina was yet another last minute hook-up from my friend, who’d finished his internship, and had gone home. I was a bit unsure of the living situation, but I’m flexible and God is good, so I wasn’t worried. That night, Nina made me an awesome dinner of random stuff and I found these guys before bedtime (don’t they look so innocent on my blue sleeping bag?). Nina is on staff at IHOP and works with video/media. She is one of the sweetest gals I’d ever met. We connected on so many levels. I so rarely connect with women, and this trip I met some of the most amazing sisters. It seems that I am only compatible with women who are humble, sincere, and transparent. Haha, I should try harder to be those things. I, of course, had many questions about IHOP, as I’m still trying to understand what it is. She had many stories, but the one that stuck with me most was one about how God had revealed to her a grief that she never mourned. What would such a sweet girl be mourning about?… She explained that during her college years that there was a deep loneliness from feeling disconnected to other Christians. I interpreted her story to say that she had a deep desire to know God in ways that other people didn’t understand. Now, she is so sweet and nice that she’d be the last person to feel that sort of loneliness. I, on the other hand, am weird and uncomfortable, and people typically expect that I’ll be rejected… haha. In addition to all the interesting stories about how people from home don’t quite “get” what IHOP is about, I felt like she was the first person to articulate the sort of grief and loneliness that I have carried around. If IHOP helps cultivate people like Nina– that is a +1 from me. THE CONFERENCE CENTER So, the next day, Nina drops me off at the convention center, and I just hang around. The place was HUGE. There were concessions that sold overpriced food, a giant bookstore with mostly IHOP books, but other very reasonably priced stuff. Booths lined one side of the bookstore with all types of ministries that run out of IHOP. If you want to know what IHOP does then this conference is how you can find out everything at once. This is how early I was… The last time I was at a conference this big was the InterVarsity conference at UIUC– with 20,000 students back in 2003. In comparing the two events, this one seemed more cohesive, maybe b/c I came here by myself and was more attentive to what was going on overall. For sure, I was able to make many friends. What I appreciate about this movement, is that they know how to use the talents and passions of their people. They are transparent, original, and bold. Christianity seems too often spineless, manipulative, and shallow. If this is what it’s like to be in a cult, than I’d rather be here in a house of devotion than in a clubhouse of posers. A friend from home points out how they have a section on identifying cults in the conference materials. I think it’s funny that they have to do that. As limiting as any phobia, heresy-phobia will keep you spiritually dumb and maybe even faithless. So what if there are shirts that show people getting out of wheel-chairs? I kinda like the aesthetic, but I’m sure it offends somebody. If not, then probably this sign below might offend someone: Next year, I’m going to go to that session… That is a sure way to see if their theology lines up with mine. They don’t really teach on healing or miracles, they give testimonies of such things, but they almost exclusively teach on devotion and faith. Now Bethel teaches much on healings and miracles to give some contrast. I’d really only heard a couple IHOP speakers, but their message is basically the same each time. I’d heard Bickle speak 2 times already, with all the same testimonies. The music was great, the huge rock concert that it was. My favorite song from that trip is, “Shekinah.” People came from all over the world to be here, with seats sectioned off for people of particular countries. That week was definitely an overload of numbers for Kansas City, as mealtimes were chaotic and getting home took forever. The shuttle to take you back to the prayer room in Grandview runs nonstop for hours. The lines grew overwhelming at times. Before the end of the first night, I caught up with a friend from UCSF. Johanna is another one of my favorite sisters, as she has such a pure heart and yet I see her as a fierce leader in the making. She’s in dental school and we met when I first adventured into their retreat the Spring before. It’s cool to share this experience with her, as we are part of this bay-area network of rising experts and professionals, and I felt that we both knew it’d be hard to explain what this conference would be like to the others. MEETING THE GANG That night I got to stay at the “dorms” for IHOP, that Nina had hooked me up with. I knew that other people were going to show up, but I didn’t know any of them. I ended up spending a whole week with these awesome people. The person I wanted to write about was this Brazilian girl named Pabla. Her every waking moment is passionate and energetic, and since she didn’t want to miss any part of the conference, I went with her to catch the shuttle early that morning while her friend rested. I don’t remember all her stories or how she told them, but that they were unbelievable. God speaks to Pabla in dreams in the most mind-blowing ways. By then, I’d met people who hear from God in prayer and visions, but never stories of someone who’d so regularly dream things of the future. It’s like meeting another superhero with an ability I had not encountered before. Her X-Man card is worth holding onto, as she’d get great storylines in the comics. Again, it’s just so unlikely for her to make all this up. She was a Brazilian immigrant, and about to go home when God told her to buy a restaurant and start a business. She soon found herself without money to even buy “pohtaytoes.” The way she said potato was so animated, that I remember so clearly her saying, “I had no money… I couldn’t even buy pohTAYtoes!” in her Brazilian accent. That day, a woman comes into her business and hands her a check for $400. Again and again, she’d receive money and favor against the odds. She tells me more than once, that she could not have done any of this herself, that only God could do it. That God tells her what to do in her dreams and she does it. She just opened her second restaurant in Boston. I feel bad that I cannot remember all her stories, but this is one fearless woman of God who has numerous amazing stories about how God speaks in dreams. Before knowing about IHOP’s onething conference, she had dreamed that God wanted her to go on a trip, and shortly after, was she called by her friend about this event. What’s funny is that she was curious about how God gives me visions, but not as much as I was about her dreams. OLD FRIENDS I also ran into a couple people from the east coast part of my life. Pastor Dewey from a college fellowship at Delaware. What a faithful servant of the Lord, who works with so much wisdom and compassion. I also hung out with Yonnie’s sister. In regards to Yoonie’s sis, I had a vision of her sitting at God’s table, pointing and asking permission to touch or eat several items at the table. It’s funny that we’d ask God permission for what he’s already given us, and even if we wanted to put peanut butter on our turkey, I don’t think God would care. So, that’s the word I had for her. When I’d see her next, she was asking about the gift of tongues and wondering if she’s seeking the gifts too much. Like she felt bad for wanting to experience God through supernatural means, when she should just be happy sitting at the table with God. If this “vision” was a word from God, then I suppose he’s saying that she doesn’t need permission to receive these gifts, that they’ve already been given. So, we should be ok with dipping our celery in the gravy. On one of the last days, Nina introduces me to her friend, who’d served with Heidi Baker in Mozambique, and currently lives in Jersey. He kept insisting that we’d met before until he remembered that I had asked him to pray for Yoonie to receive the gift of tongues back when Chris and I went to IHOP in Jersey the past Summer. It only made sense that he’d also pray with Yoonie’s sister too as a coincidence 6 months later! Haha, funny when that happens. SEMI-OLD FRIENDS AK was taking a trip to Israel and missing the end of the conference. Nina and I went out to eat with him at the best place for affordable convenient food– that grocery store 4 blocks away. You know, one thing I really appreciate about “onething” is being surrounded by people who love to pray and prayed for. We did a lot of that! Remember this guy?… You know, the new friend I made on my adventure to Knoxville back in October. After a number of texts, I finally caught him on the last day of the conference. It was that last day that the urge to volunteer kicked in. I decided to help out in what I found was a poorly organized volunteer program. The whole, “we don’t really know how to do this, but the volunteers should just tough it out and serve” is disappointing, b/c I’ve served in so many big events that handle things much better. I tried to offer help, but it came off more like criticism, and they were like, “no thanks, we don’t want any of that.” Ok, I’ll just put on my yellow vest and guard the escalator for an indefinite amount of time. I’d been there over an hour, but being stationary it was easy for Jason to find me. Here’s a nugget of wisdom: if you want to find people at an 25,000 person event, assign yourself the duty of people inspection at one of the choke points for entry… and wear a bright yellow vest. I convinced him to wear my vest as I used the restroom and went to let the coordinators know that I was done. Jason is well networked into the IHOP world as his parents had him and his bro going to IHOP events ever since they were little. He said it was one of the best things his parents did for him. As a result, they had family friends there who he was supposed to bring bags of clothes for. We carried bags of clothes in “restricted areas” of the convention center and I got to meet techies and security guards a long the way. I know I heard some great stories from this one security person I spoke with, but I can’t remember them anymore. Behind the scenes I got to meet their media and social media team. Two of my tweets from onething was:

I feel convicted to tweet bc i feel that xtians are so technophobic that they wont use #onething2010, but i have no internet, so i dont kno.

Not digging the social media hate. I find it counter-productive. The rhetoric could be so more functional. Im eating a cookie. #onething2010

I did get into a tweet discussion with someone who thought I was messed up to call Christians technophobes.. (but they ARE!) I mean, the opening session was about how video games are the enemy and, later, on telling people to get out of the stupid room. I don’t think the room is stupid; I think, probably, the room is beautiful and amazing– it’s the people who are stupid. Here’s what I learned from behind the curtain:

Met IT and Marketing for #onething2010 in the back. Apparently 1000 tweets per day. Mostly positive, except for protesters. Hi @jacksonb !!

On the other side of the curtain, you’ll find slides advertising the twitter hashtag rolling through the projector screens right after the session where they tell us to get off facebook. Now I know what they mean, as one tweeter pointed out to me, but I’m unappreciative of the rhetoric they are using, that’s all. For most of my time in KC, I stayed at Pastor Min’s house. I met them in October when I visited the first time, and it was so good to see them again. I almost didn’t have a place to stay, but P. Min said, “you must pray a lot, b/c God gave you a bed.” NEW FRIENDS I made some drive-by new friends. What is in the photo above is who I call the “Starbucks Door Guard.” 15 minutes before Starbucks closes, this guy closes the door and only lets people out. You see the people standing at the door wondering why they can’t get in. He doesn’t work for Starbucks, but he was regularly there reading all week. I talked to him a bit and made sure I went back to give him some conference books. If you look past the glare, you can see him reading the book that I gave him. It was the last day and I’d promised to get the people I was hanging with dinner. Unfortunately, I missed the deadline to reserve conference food (and it was KC BBQ!) I was so mad and tried my best to work my charm and get us food. A bit bitter, I cut out early from the conference in search for food. On the way to the usual place, I ran into these two guys asking for money, Terrence and Carl. I don’t know if they’re homeless or not; I mean, you never know, but I offerred to buy them dinner. As a girl, alone in the city, I was a little scared… sure, but it turned a bitter situation into a more purposeful endeavor. I had them pick out whatever they wanted and then paid for it. Somehow, I also convinced them to register for IHOP and come to our New Years eve celebration. On the way back, we talked about their lives and, of course, jazz music. When we got to the conference center, we got in line, got them bracelets, as I told the woman at the desk that, these guys, my friends just got here. Carl and Terrance ate dinner with us. Pabla noticed that there was a woman at our table prophesying for a girl. She eagerly asked for prayer herself. After that, I asked them to pray for Carl and Terrance. We prayed some powerful stuff over them. Let’s just say that they got more than dinner that night– a new chapter for a new year. The woman prayed for me too. I don’t remember everything she said, just something about open heavens and a ladder for angels. BACK TO BUSINESS Those are most of the side-quests of this event. This leaves a few more things to mention about onething. They relocated the prayer room to be closer to the conference center. I know Nina was on nightwatch back in Grandview at another location, because this many people would overwhelm the usual prayer space. The photo below is at another Q&A session with all of IHOP’s leaders. I, of course, took the opportunity to speak with the movers of this movement. I’ve learned to take my stories, print them out, to hand to people, instead of trying to articulate ALL the details. I saw Mike Bickle and he remembered me. I gave him a quick update and left him to do all he needed for the other people waiting to ask him questions. I also handed copies to Lou Engle, Sarah Sun Kim, and a many others. The conference likes to highlight and distinguish the different cultures and ethnicities. Of course, Israel is regularly a big one. Another was their focus on Black and African Americans, or the lack of them in this movement. Does some of it seem racist or sexist?… Yes, but I’d say that Bethel can come off far more “ignorant.” They say things that would offend the progressive and well-educated circles, but only out of ignorance, not intentionally. The group that I went up for was, of course, Asian Americans. Things that I didn’t expect? Well, there’s two… 1) spontaneous jam sessions! WooooOOOO! After the conference, there was a big drum circle outside with freestyle, flowing, breakdancing, and song. 2) Really, if you needed one reason to come to Kansas City over New Years, it’s for this alone… The countdown to the new year. http://twitter.com/#!/ffpaladin/status/21080179132604416

Omg this is so ridiculous… This is the craziest party ive ever been too… Everyone is dancing around.. Tens of thousands… #onething2010

Somewhere during the last hour did I have this realization of “this is why people get drunk.” My whole life, I’ve thought that drinking was one of the dumbest things a person could waste their time and money doing. It’s like social steroids or something, you know? Go to a doctor, if you need something to help drop your inhibitions. Stop self-medicating with alcohol… haha. In another tweet, I said something along the lines of having given more high-fives in one night than in my entire life. Everyone was so crazy happy, dancing, and celebrating. This is why people drink, to be this “happy” to be alive, to feel like they belong somewhere– where you know everyone there is experiencing that same party. Haha, maybe they gassed the room or something, but it was unbelievable. AFTER-PARTY! I spent an extra week in KC, and hung out with my new friends. We played games, talked, prayed, ate, and adventured. Mostly, we chilled in the prayer room. In that prayer room, I wrote a prayer for almost everyone who wished my happy birthday on facebook. That was somewhere around 90 prayers typed up. I had to finish those up in the subsequent weeks, b/c 90 prayers is no joke! I spent the evenings with Pastor Min, his family, and some friends from Korea. The one girl was a composer and just loved the music. She had so many CDs from IHOP. We spent much of our time jamming. I love it when the music never stops! Pabla bought food to cook for everyone and we all ate sooooo well. She made chicken stuffed with bacon and asparagus and a seafood stew on basmatti rice. No one had ever really had Brazilian food before, and everyone was curious to see what it’d be like. Abe was an artist, and we, with Pastor Min’s daughter did some drawing, which eventually turned into a prayer meeting. He tried to draw Sparkle, the guinea pig, but it looked like a potato. Abe and I would joke the whole trip, because there’d be so many dramatic things happening (mostly hot-button theology debates). We’d start laughing and look around the room searching for the cameras that were filming our reality TV experience. Towards the end of our stay, it looked like the gang was having a serious conversation outside the prayer room and so, I took my camera just to snap a photo of this priceless moment. Pabla is trying to explain to me what the deal is, Kendall is caught off guard, and the others are just amused by my making light of what may have been a serious moment. I remember Kendall saying something to me along the lines of, “I enjoy you.” That’s good, b/c I’m always afraid people think I’m standoffish. Being “enjoyed” was an unusual, but awesome thing for someone to say I’m already thinking about next year. I’m so there. Hit me up, if you want to come too! Like I’ve said before, I love it when God chooses my friends. So, as the post title read, what is the worst of IHOP onething?

Those corny book advertisement videos that they play in between speakers
The technophobia
The unintentional sexism and racism
The lack of gospel music
The end-times talk (only because I don’t get it) and it’s repetition
Telling people to get out of the “stupid room”
The crowd management for the shuttle service, or lack of shuttles
The food situation
The volunteer program

To end on yet another random story… I did in fact sing the Korean song to Pastor Min’s adorable daughter. What I learned about her this trip was that she has a DR. BEAT! I haven’t seen a metronome like this since I did marching band. I showed her how to use it… haha. It was just like the ones that our percussion instructors used in high school. They were like $100 back then, if I recall correctly. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onething_conference